
Fans at Nakamiri Sport Stadium Complex have not been taking well to the new vending machines installed at the stadium.
The new machines, designed by famous Turkish sculptor, Retzchich Azdulab, are "meant to evoke the human condition" in concert goers and sports fans. Instead, concessionaires have found sales tumbling as patrons are reluctant to use the giant human-shaped machines.
The machines serve sodas and beer from a spigot mounted between the figure's legs, while an adjacent bucket holds hot nacho cheese and a ladle. However, most customers will spend up to fifteen minutes searching the back and sides of the figure for any other alternatives.
"We go through two-hundred ketchup pack-oo, one game." says Tako Hannachita, Food and Beverage Manager at the stadium. Because condiments are located in the figure's armpits, they are a popular item.
Stadium management plans to replace the figures next week. In their place will be standard vendor stalls, manned by local teens in paper hats. Sociologists at nearby Hannura University, however, are urging management to leave the statues in place.
"They represent a valuable source of study", stated Desmon E. Whismith, Professor Emeritus. "We can learn into which holes a person is willing to reach for forage-items, and which bodily areas make them slightly more uncomfortable at an emergence point for consumables."
The statues will be moved to a nearby park upon their removal. No word whether snacks and refreshments will remain available.